Tragedies

I hate Facebook epitaphs on principle. I find them kind of crass and never properly enough; especially when they're punctuated by emojis and when they pile up on the deceased's profile... They will never see your thoughts. They will never read them; they will never know what you said. Notifications will fill some nebulous cloud and will never be received. In a sense; these posts are less for the dead and more for yourself: A way to reconcile some emptiness you feel. You didn't get the news in person; you were scrolling through your highlights and this article comes up announcing the murder of someone you knew but haven't spoken to in years. You were merely “friends” in the connectivity-sense; who knows the last time any words (real or digital) were even exchanged.

Your memorial post goes up. It usually contains some pithy words; a toast; an ancient shared memory; a lament that you never spent quite as much time together as you should have; despite there having never been any reason why you couldn't have. It helps you feel better and it helps you grieve; in your own little way. There is no wrong made here; the mind must resolve loss somehow and the family of the deceased often find comfort themselves.

The moment is fleeting. Some likes or teary-faces are exchanged and we all feel like we did something good; but then we move on with our lives. The internet won't allow us to spend overlong on such an event; there is always the next thing we have to produce an opinion on.

I learned of a tragedy today. It's likely it won't occupy much of my mind in the coming days. I've got my own shit to deal with and honestly it wasn't one that was very close to me. Someone I knew from high school was murdered on Sunday in the park that I used to walk home through every day. I haven't been to that park in years. I haven't spoken to this person in half a decade. I was friends with them on Facebook; I followed them because I was always interested in what they had to say even if I almost never agreed with it. I didn't even particularly like this person when I was in school with them and that attitude kind of continued after; but I never harbored ill-will or hate for them.

I was probably more struck by the murder itself: it was in a park that I visited even as a young child. It was mere blocks from where I lived with my mom. I took field trips to the park. I don't know where the murder took place exactly; but chances are I've stepped on that ground. I've probably looked on the same patch of earth where this person's life was ended. Where they saw the last thing they ever saw; whatever it might have been.

I cannot say that I knew this person well or that they knew me well. Whatever words I could possibly say about them are ultimately meaningless and probably would not be highly valued; would that they could read them. I would not blame this person for that; why should my feelings be important here? Quite frankly; they are not. Others knew this person better; others held this person closer in their hearts; others are grieving much more than I; others are feeling much more loss than I. I do not feel it is my place to join in that chorus of remembrance; though this very post is in violation of that feeling.

I am saddened by the loss of this person. I hope the family manages to find justice and peace. What is is there to be said; truly?

Modern Magic Report, 10/27/15

I'm thinking about revitalizing this blog, mostly so I can start getting thoughts down about ongoing projects, such as my ventures into the Modern format of Magic: the Gathering. I've been playing Modern fairly regularly again and it's been going really well. I'm still rocking the Blue/Red Delver of Secrets/Young Pyromancer deck (hereafter referred to as UR Delver) that has been my pet project for about a year now.

Here is a decklist if you're interested.

Well, let's delve(r) into today's results!


Round 1: Grixis Control

I've played against this deck a few times, piloted by the awesome Brian. He's good at the deck (and others) and I always enjoy seeing and playing him; he definitely gives me a run for my money.

Game 1 was long. I kept a pretty decent hand, but he managed to control out my threats. Eating an Electrolyze on a Pyromancer + Snapcaster definitely hurt. With him having a resolved and flipped Jace, Vryn's Prodigy and me on essentially nothing, I scooped.

Game 2 went better. I kept 7, eventually drawing into Sword of Fire and Ice. With a couple of Snapcasters in hand, I pushed one through, applied the Sword, and managed to protect both into the win. I'm finding the SoFaI is very strong as a 1-of, at least in this meta. Kologhan's Command can wreck me with it, and has before, but if I manage to keep a Spell Pierce or decent Remand, the Sword is protected and I am almost a lock to win the game. I definitely would not want more than 1, however, as it is very expensive and does not help my Delver flips.

Game 3 ended up as a slugfest draw, though I believe I would've very narrowly won had we not gone to time. I resolved an early Blood Moon, throwing Brian's mana off enough to keep him from getting too far ahead, but he was able to control my threats and managed to ultimate Jace, Vryn's Prodigy and start milling me hard. I managed to get two flipped Delvers however by Turn 4 after time, and would've have carried through (I believe) if I'd have gotten one more turn.
Record: 0-0-1


Round 2: Mono-Blue Tron

At this point I was a bit nervous, thinking my luck had turned sour this week. But I felt confident against Kazuu's Mono-Blue Tron deck, having played well against him last week. The matchup is good for me I think, but it can be hard to climb back, as you will see.

Game 1 was an easy and probably undeserved win for me. I kept a 1-land hand on the play, resolving and flipping a Delver, then following it up with Grim Lavamancer. I kept the pressure going and Kazuu did not do anything about my Delver. He eventually reached Tron and played a Wurmcoil Engine (very powerful against me), but I was able to Vapor Snag it away and swing for the win.

Game 2 did not go as well. My hand had more lands, but was much slower, even after a mulligan to 6. Some solid Condescends kept me from resolving a threat, and when he resolved Wurmcoil Engine and countered one of my two Lightning Bolts against it, I scooped.

Game 3 was... interesting. I kept a 7 card hand with no immediate threat, but had 2 lands, Serum Visions, and 3 Gitaxian Probes. Feeling bold and a little reckless, I kept it, immediately paying 6 life for all 3 Probes, then casting Serum Visions. Now I had nothing but gas, resolving a Delver turn 2 and protecting it from a Pyroclasm with a Spell Pierce. From there, I was able to beat down fast enough to take the win.

I felt impressed with Vapor Snag here; this card has been overperforming for me. Not only is it a mainboard answer to Splinter Twin and an effective soft-counter to Tasigur (taking life, opening the way for an attack, eating tempo and the opponent's resources), it can be a good answer to things like Wurmcoil Engine and can help protect a Delver (even if I have to replay and reflip it) and offer me replays of Snapcaster Mage. I was also impressed with Spell Pierce here; this card has been on my bad list lately and I was even considering cutting it, but it seemed quite good in counterspell fights, even if usually only want it early game. It has definitely been helpful in protecting an early Delver and is usually my best out against a Planeswalker or enchantment.
Record: 1-0-1


Round 3: UR Twin

I played against an opponent that was new to me, Kyle. I was immediately impressed by how pimped out his deck is; he was running very fancy copies of good cards (FNM promo Remand, Judge's promo Serum Visions, etc). Apparently he has been playing for a long time, but has only recently started playing Modern. Clearly he'd dumped lots of money into it, however.

Game 1 was overall very solid for me. Another early Delver applied too much pressure, backed up by a Young Pyromancer. He slowed me down a bit with a Deceiver Exarch, which put me on alert for Splinter Twin, so I kept a Vapor Snag with counterspell backup close to hand, though I was not confident in my ability to win a counterspell war at this point in the game. Fortunately, he didn't have it and was only playing Exarch to slow me down. I took the win here after swinging with everything past Exarch.

Game 2, I brought in my usual Negate/Dispel package, as well as a Combust to take out an Exarch when Twin was cast on it. Here, I kept another solid 1-land hand, but was met with an Engineered Explosives for 0 on his turn 1. This meant that he could eliminate any number of flipped Delver of Secrets and Pyromancer tokens I had, but I played my turn 1 Delver anyways and aggressively payed life for Probes and lands. I played to eat his first Explosives and force him to fire it off against only one Delver, even after I drew an additional one. To my surprise, he took damage from it several times, refusing to crack the Explosives until I got him down well under 10 life. I played my second Delver, but was met with a setback as he resolved Spellskite and took away a Vapor Snag with Vendillion Clique.
I played dangerously this game and my risk was rewarded. At one point I shocked myself with a land to go to 3 so I could do my best to ensure that I could fight against a Twin attempt, hoping that he did not have a series of Lightning Bolts. I dispelled the Bolt he had, then he made a critical error when he swung with Clique for the kill, which ate a Lightning Bolt of my own. Had he Gitaxian Probed first, he might not have attempted that line and tried to find another bolt or a counterspell. He did resolve an Exarch, however, and between this and the Spellskite, I could not get enough burn or damage through to kill him, and I found myself desperately hoping to find another Bolt or a flipped Delver to beat him. I managed to get through with a second flipped Delver for the win.

I have enjoyed my matchups against UR Twin, I feel it is well favored for me on the play. Again, Vapor Snag shines here and I have done better since I learned not to board in Blood Moon.
Record: 2-0-1


Round 4: 4 Color Control
This was an interesting one. Brian's cousin, Shawn, came this week with a 4-color-no-red brew he made and I was impressed. It seemed basically a combination of Abzan and Jace, Vryn's Prodigy, with some counterspells and Creeping Tar Pit.

We both mulliganed Game 1, Shawn to 5 on the play and me to 6. He Thoughtseized me turn 1, taking away my Young Pyromancer, but leaving himself at 15 life already. I aggressively payed life as well, finding a Grim Lavamancer and going through a few draw spells. I bolted his first Jace, while he attempted to find a decent threat and continuing to pay life. I drew a few burn spells, which, in combination with Vapor Snagging two Lingering Souls tokens, allowed me to burn him out at his low life total.

Game 2 I brought in Blood Moon, Dispel and Negate, and Izzet Staticaster for the Lingering Souls tokens. Shawn kept 7 and I mulliganed to 6 again, and the game played out similarly, though Shawn payed life less aggressively. I found several Lightning Bolts and a Grim Lavamancer, finally playing Bolt+Bolt on one turn, then Snap+Bolt+Grim Lavamancer on his turn, then Forked Bolt+Grim Lavamancer for the win.

Shawn's deck was interesting, but I felt that it was not a good matchup against me. Blood Moon seemed like it would be devastating, even if he had one of each basic and no double-colored spells. Path to Exile and Abrupt Decay do seem good against me, but without Lightning Bolt I wasn't sure if he could carry it all the way.
Record: 3-0-1

Overall it was another solid night!! I have been very impressed with the deck thus far, even if it's not arguably "Tier 1." I'm not sure if I've just been playing very well, if the deck is overperforming, or if UR Delver really can just be that good with the proper shell. I would like to experiment with Jace, Vryn's Prodigy myself, but need to pick up a couple of extra copies and I'm not quite sure what to cut. So far, I'm considering cutting the Grim Lavamancers and shaving a Snapcaster Mage (since they fill similar roles), but the burn power of Grim and the not-attacking of Jace do concern me. But thus far I feel like the greatest problem with UR Delver right now is that it can really run out of steam if an opponent manages to disassemble my threat package or if I have a bad draw or I'm unlucky. Jace seems like he could really help with filtering through excess lands (I really don't need any after three or four, and I'm running as low as I can get with 18), but when I have so many cards in the graveyard, he could flip really easily. This could be good to flashback Serum Visions or Lightning Bolt, but doesn't really help with the simple card filtering I need.

Testing shall continue! I'll post results as I'm able to receive them.

Dragon Age: Inquisition First Impressions

I'm just gonna list this in a convenient bullet-point format for my own sake, so I can go to bed.

-It's super gorgeous.
-The inquisitor is super blank slate and I hate that, but at least s/he's voice acted.
-The combat seems like a nice blend of 1&2, though I keep swinging at nothing when enemies back away.
-Picking new skills as the means of increasing your attributes seems... weird? But I think I like it? There does seem like very few skills (at least for warrior), but I guess I don't have any prestige classes yet.
-I... don't get the story at all thus far. Stuff seems to just happen and the voice acting is a bit bland. But I'm only an hour in.
-Cassandra and Varric are great.
-The "guard system" seems pretty legit.
-You can really feel the Skyrim influence. The much wider maps are really cool without feeling empty. Jumping in a Dragon Age game is still weirding me out.
-I think if this game came out 4 years ago it would've been an MMO. Maybe that'll be the next step. It's not even a bad thing, but just the way it plays and feels, I'm strongly reminded of WoW or something.

Overall, I like it so far. Not immediately blown away but excited for more tomorrow.

The Last of Us Ending

FULL SPOILERS FOR "THE LAST OF US" ENDING AHEAD

The Last of Us' enemies often beg for mercy when they are on the brink of death. You can kill them, and many times in the game you can entirely bypass encounters if you're stealthy enough.

The game also establishes Joel as an open murder. He trades weapons, uses torture, has killed innocents, and admits that he will do whatever it takes to survive.

The narrative structure of the game is so potent, that I often felt myself right in Joel's shoes.

I was a murderer. A sociopath.

My driving emotion was to protect Ellie. At any cost. Even if I knew as a player that she was immune to most threats in the game, I still felt the parental need to protect her.

If I was in a fight, I wanted to make sure nobody would surprise me from behind. I would clear every room I could, picking off stragglers and leaving no survivors. Even those that begged for mercy would die.

In the game's final moments, you break into an operating room to rescue Ellie, where three doctors are prepping her for brain surgery, knowing that they would end her life.

As Joel, I had fought with every bit of my being to get to her. I was out of ammo, health, I had literally used every one of my resources to get to her, where before I had endlessly prepared, taken my time, been cautious and tried to conserve what I had desperately.

I didn't even know that this was the end of the game, though I was certain it was a climax.

Joel broke into the operating room, revolver drawn with what little ammo I had left. The surgeons were surprised, of course, to see this bloodied man. One held up his scalpel, telling me to not come any closer. What they had to do was import-

My revolver thundered, Joel killed him, and he immediately turned and killed a second doctor, who wasn't even armed. The third cowered in the corner, I knew in a moment that she wasn't a threat. I'd saved her. Joel picked up Ellie and I was allowed to sit back and let the cutscene take over.

As Joel collected Ellie into his arms, the surviving surgeon screamed at me, calling me an animal.

I was.

The greatest strength of The Last of Us is it's astounding ability to imbibe the player with desperation just as it's characters are feeling.

Yes, much of this comes from it's limiting of resources and keeping things dangerous. You as the player are contently scrounging for anything you can find to give you that extra edge. But it's so much more than that.

After Ellie escapes from David's clutches, she tries to escape the bandit camp with nothing but her knife and winter clothes, in the middle of a horrendous blizzard. There were men everywhere hunting for her. I had to find a weapon, I had to get out.

My as Ellie's desperation was captured when I ambushed a guard. The animation shows Ellie jumping on the man's back, stabbing him again and again in the neck and throat, until he falls dead.

Again and again I ambushed these men in the snow and cold, who were trying to preserve the peace in the camp and protect their families from someone that had murdered dozens of their comrades in cold blood.

But I was desperate. They had shot at us first. We had to get out, escape, survive. And I couldn't risk any of them coming back to get us again.

In a fight against some Infected, some Runners were starting to overwhelm Joel. One managed to grab him and shove him against the wall. I struggled to get out, tapping the button as fast as I could, only to see Ellie jump onto the zombie, stabbing it in the eye. It fell, allowing me to shoot another that was coming up behind her.

Apparently there were notes in the hospital confirming what I thought was a lie that Joel told Ellie: that there were others that were immune, and the Fireflies had performed tests on them, without any success towards finding a cure. I hadn't found any of them. In fact, in the hospital, I'd never done my almost ritualistic act of scouring every corner of every room, taking my time and finding anything I could use. I didn't think there was time.

I broke into the operating room after I'd struggled and fought and shot my way past dozens of soldiers. The surgeons were surprised at Joel. I gave them a moment to step away from Ellie, gun drawn. As the surgeon told Joel to back away, I shot him twice in the chest. The third surgeon screamed as I immediately turned and shot the second once in the head. I then looked to whom I'd been fighting for, trying to protect, that I had possibly doomed the survival of humanity for, all for a little chance at real happiness. The third surgeon screamed at me, calling me an animal.

I was.

Batgirl #35 Review

I'm not really a comics guy. I've tried my hardest, to be sure. I've always loved Spider-Man, and my first time buying comics regularly was right at the beginning of one of the most frustrating and offensive Spider-Man story lines: Brand New Day. So I quit reading them. Every successive time I would try to pick up a comic book again, it was always right in the middle of some nonsense story that read like it was completely idiotic. I gave up on comic books, content to only read about what was going on through a third party every now and again, so I could laugh at how ridiculous it all sounded.

When I heard about what I was going on with the new Batgirl series, I let myself get excited one more time.

Comics have had a major problem with women for decades. Big-boobed bimbos have somehow become the dominant species in the universes of Marvel and DC, extending even to female superheroes, somehow managing to cram a 46-22-46 body into a skintight suit. Women have been actively discouraged from reading comics (whether it has been an intentional design decision on the part of the publishers or not). There have been a few fixes, but very few have caught on in any permanent sense.

Perhaps, with Batgirl #35, we'll start to see a reversal.

With this new run, DC has brought on Babs Tarr as the artist. Though she is apparently new to the comics industry, Tarr has already hit it out of the park with her fantastic redesign of Batgirl. Her characters look actually realistic, like real human beings, with actual proportions, while still maintaining a cute cartoonish charm to it all. In a certain way, her art is oddly reminiscent of Bryan Lee O'Malley's method, at least in facial expressions and character poses. Her characters are fun and exciting, especially for someone who's been desperately aching for some appealing redesigns in comics. I also find her new costume (which is explained in a slightly handwavy manner, but I think it'll be developed further) to just be a lot of fun. It's basically a custom members-only jacket and utility belt! How great is that?

Cameron Stewart's cover (Babs Tarr did the limited edition variant cover) is especially excellent and made me interested in the comic to begin with. Batgirl taking a selfie in a bathroom mirror with her new costume is just awesome and actually sets the tone for the story. However, Kevin Nowland's variant “monster” cover is just weird and kind of offensive. It's done in a more traditional style and doesn't fit the story at all. In fact, when I went to pick up the comic, my friend saw the variant cover and was incredibly annoyed at first and didn't warm up to the redesign at first. She did read the comic and loved it afterward, but I do think that the variant cover could discourage female readers, that I think this issue is supposed to draw in.

If it was just a fantastic art redesign, I think Batgirl #35 would be a slam dunk, but there's more to it than that. Writers Cameron Stewart and Brenden Fletcher have written a story that just fits perfectly to the character of Batgirl, appeals to the college-age demographic (especially to the female part!), and is just excellent. Not to spoil too much, but Batgirl quite literally beats up the forces of male entitlement and misogyny in a story that is incredibly relevant to recent events of Snapchat hacks and celebrity nude leaks. It also uses technology and current media platforms excellently, with Instagram and Tinder playing key story roles. These also serve to make Batgirl/Barbara Gordon feel even more human, along with her college struggles (not going to quite the same absurd levels that harrowed Peter Parker) and love of partying it up.

All of this comes together to make one of the first comic series that I've been excited about in years. Batgirl #35 is just fantastic, probably one of the best superhero comics I've read in ages. At the end of the day, it is still a superhero comic and can be predisposed to lots of silliness, of which there is some here. But it feels good, it works. Stewart and Fletcher aren't trying to be serious and edgy with this, something that's plagued DC's other New 52 comics since the beginning of the relaunch. Babs Tarr's art is so enjoyable, I often found myself just looking and taking in the art. I would absolutely recommend that you pick up Batgirl #35 and keep an eye on it in the future.

The Five Colors of Magic

When someone begins playing Magic: the Gathering for the first time, they often find a color they like and latch onto it. A developing mage finds a play style they like and sticks with it. While this can help a newer player create a strategy that they like and cultivate it over time. This also makes them rigid and inflexible, unable to adapt to a new way of playing. New cards are constantly released and decks always able to be improved. The greatest step a new Magic player can take is to step outside of their comfort zone and experiment with new colors and strategy. In this essay, I will be exploring some of the advantages that can be learned though experimenting with each color of Magic and what they have to offer to a new player.

White

White is possibly one of the more common colors chosen by a learning player. It's relatively simple and straightforward, and can teach players most of the basics relatively easily: how creatures work, the importance of evasion, and combat tricks. However, someone who hasn't started with white might not recognize just how useful a horde of tokens can be. White is the color of tokens and large armies of small creatures. With enough soldiers, White's armies can simply overwhelm the blockers of their opposition. White also uses the most combat tricks and anthems, surprising blockers and enhancing their strength to overwhelm. White has a lot to offer a new player.

As some recent examples of what White could offer to a developing player, Soul of Theros offered White a lot of advantage in M15 drafts this year, offering a massive power boost and a number of tricks to it's controllers team. Triplicate Spirits was the format-defining card of M15 limited, creating a strong army, even if they were only three 1/1 spirits.

Blue

Blue can teach a player that they can win simply though card advantage. Of course, there are lot of other tricks Blue possesses: bouncing creatures and permanents, countering spells, and possessing lots of evasion, but it's greatest trick sheer card advantage. That is to say, being able to draw more cards than their opponent, pulling more answers out of their deck and into their hand than their opponent. If their opponent has three cards in hand, two of which are creatures, and Blue has seven cards; two lands, two counterspells, Unsummon, and two creatures; blue is at an advantage over their opponent. They have more answers and more ability to progress.

Some recent examples Blue could offer to a newer player include Divination and Opportunity. Divination has been a format staple to almost every set, as a simple way to gain a few cards at relatively low cost. Opportunity was a format-defining card in M14 draft, allowing Blue players to gain massive card advantage over their opponent at Instant speed.

Black

Black can teach a new player one of the most important lessons they can learn: that life is a resource, not a score. The game ends when one player reaches 0 life, however much life the winner has left by the end of the game doesn't matter, and sacrificing life for powerful plays can be extremely important. Newer players can often be suspicious of cards that cost them life, not realizing how advantageous spending life for cards or killing creatures can be. The perfect example would be the legendary card Necropotence, a card that completely warped the format around itself in it's time. The card advantage it generated was so staggering that the life spent hardly mattered. As newer players experiment with Black, they are often continually tempted by the great power at any cost it offers.

Some recent examples of Black's advantage generated through life include Sign in Blood, which allow the player to draw cards at a very cheap cost, allowing players to then cast those cards quickly. Plus, it's targeting clause can finish off an opponent. Ulcerate is also very strong removal at a low cost, making it a strong early, though not first, pick for M15 draft.

Red

Anyone that has played Red understands how much it values burn cards, that is to say cards that do direct damage to a creature or player. What a newer player can learn though playing Red more often is how those are best used, whether to use it as removal against creatures or to throw it against the opponent's face to kill them. Cards like Lava Axe are fairly simple: it only targets the opponent. A card like Lightning Strike is a bit more complicated. It can remove a creature to clear the way for Red's own beaters, or it can be thrown against the opponent to bring their life down ever-closer to 0. Many players, even veteran Magic players, might see Red-focused decks as being rather simple, when in actuality there is a lot of math involved: Red must calculate whether they can afford to clear out a creature and if they will have enough cards and time to do so. Learning this math and being able to calculate removal versus simply killing their opponent is an important step for a new player.

Some recent examples of powerful Red cards include Lightning Strike, a useful removal or killing card in M15 and Theros, and can be used for the purposes described above. Even more useful is M15's Cone of Flame, possibly one of the best cards available in it's draft format. The ability to remove up to three creatures or turn that against the opponent makes it an extremely powerful tool available to Red.

Green

Green, along with White, is probably one of the most common colors that new Magic players learn though. On it's face, Green is relatively simple, and it is in many ways. Green plays big creatures, ramps into them with mana generating creatures and land-fetching spells, and uses the occasional combat trick. Newer players usually learn these things, but someone who was not taught on Green might not understand it's importance. Sometimes simplicity is what you need to win games, and Green's raw power can often win on it's own. While other colors are playing small creatures or drawing cards, Green is playing much stronger creatures for the same mana cost, or playing equivalently-powered cards much earlier.

Some recent examples of Green's powerful cards are relatively simple, fitting it's color. Elvish Mystic can often be a first pick in pack one in M15 draft, short of a particularly excellent rare or Triplicate Spirits. Briarpack Alpha was also an excellent card in M14 draft, and could be used as both a combat trick on it's own, and a useful creature for early on.

It's important for a new player to experiment with colors, to learn new methods of play. Learning what cards do and how to determine good cards is what boosts a beginner Magic player into an good player, but to learn how to do that at all, players must learn what makes the colors good on their own. If you've never tried a color of Magic, learn it! Combine colors and learn how they interact. I can guarantee it will make you a better player almost instantly.

*All images taken from www.magiccards.info*

Apocalyptic Fantasies

Is it weird to find a video game touching?

Everyone has their special song, a piece of art, a poem or story, that they find especially touching or moving to them. Nowaways it's common to have a movie or maybe even a television show that just touches the heartstrings like that. But with video games, there's something different. It's less common, I think. Sure, there'll be the occasional person that talks about how much Portal affected them, or maybe even some story-based game. Gone Home or To the Moon are the games de jure of this category.

For me, it's Final Fantasy X.

This isn't a “are games art?” discussion. I've never really felt that I have anything to add to the discussion. It is such a subjective debate over a medium that is completely subjective to begin with.

Final Fantasy X probably influenced my cultural affinities since I very first played it when it was first released for the Playstation 2. When my young eyes first witnessed the sight of Tidus climbing the cliffs in front of Zanarkand, laying his eyes with us over an ancient, dead, and completely alien city, with the haunting piano music behind, I knew that I had come upon something truly amazing. Playing through the game for the very first time, I enjoyed the characters, the heroic and ultimately-tragic story, and the exciting spells I could cast and skills I could perform. But what stunned me most of all were the incredible sights, vistas, and landscapes around the game itself. Nearly everywhere you went in the game, you would find massive ruins and crumbling towers and buildings: relics of the world that had long since passed.

This fascinated me to no end. A major theme of the story is the gradual discovery of Tidus' hometown. You begin the game in Zanarkand, immediately before it's destruction, but with enough time to explore a little while and familiarize yourself with what it looked like. When you finally return, journeying across the continent of Spira, there is nothing but ruins, and no inhabitants, save monsters, for presumably miles around. It's apocalyptic. You revisit places that you started your journey at, Tidus' old home and a bridge he traveled to a voiceover about him and his father. Finally, you arrive to Zanarkand's sports arena, where the city's total destruction first began. When you make your return, you discover that it has become a temple dedicated to the whole destructive cycle that plagues Spira, in an utterly grim irony.

Something about this sparked an apocalyptic interest in me. This isn't exactly uncommon among our culture. Movies, books, and art for the past century have explored this concept in grim detail. Initially sparked by the horrors of the first World War, the interest in apocalypse only intensified over the course of the twentieth century, as nuclear weapons technology developed and total annihilation seemed to become closer and closer. Nowadays, the threat seems perhaps less real, but we continue to explore it, though we are perhaps more interested in the cause rather than the aftereffects (see: Zombie movies or the new Planet of the Apes series, for instance).

And this is something I often take into the outside world as well. Honestly, when I'm walking around Seattle or some other city, I simply cannot help but to picture it in some sort of ruin, just to see what it would be like. It triggers the explorer in me; I would love the opportunity to be able to tour all the abandoned buildings, to see what was inside places I ordinarily wouldn't be able to go to and see what people there were like and how they lived. Urban exploration might be one of my biggest passions that is often impossible to do. Not to mention the beauty of seeing nature reclaim places that man has left behind. Seeing vines or grass creep out of brick and stone walls, trees growing in places surrounded by sidewalks, or moss retaking a musty well or shaft is fascinating.

I do the same when I read about real life mass disasters in history. For instance, after the first wave of bubonic plague struck the Byzantine Empire in the sixth century, Constantinople lost around 40% of it's population, while nearly a third of all people in the entire Eastern Mediterranean died. They are terrible and tragic figures, indeed. Picture entire quarters and districts of Europe's biggest and greatest city left behind, it's people dead or gone. A truly apocalyptic scene, one that must have been terrifying to behold. What would that have even been like to see? There is simply no way for almost anyone alive today to be able to contextualize that mentally in this age.

It was this sort of haunting message I took away from Final Fantasy X. It is a grim one, pessimistic, tragic. They're sensations people don't like thinking about, but sometimes it can be rather fascinating, at least to me.

At the end of the game, after the cause of the great destruction has been defeated, the people of Spira gather together with the game's heroes and talk about their future together, starting out in a new life free of terror and fear of death. Despite the apocalypse, they still have hope with them, that they can rebuild and move on, and hopefully, prevent what happened from coming again. It's an uplifting message. Even should the worst happen, I think we'll be okay.